epiphany

....not in the literal  january 6th sense, but in sort of a "duh" realization sense....

if you're in my family, one of my close friends or participated in my recent rant on facebook, you know that i hate the goody bag.  you know, that bag that usually consists of plastic junk and bad candy that your kids get when they go to birthday parties.  i am so put off by the sense of entitlement that children have to receive a gift (in the form of said goody bag) when they attend a birthday celebration in honor of someone else and i abhor that it has almost become a competition between moms as to who can assemble the best goody bags.  my kids have actually come home with favors that were far better than the gift that they took to the birthday child.

this reminds me a lot of how we, as american christians, celebrate the birth of christ during the christmas season.  we do little to actually celebrate the guest of honor or give anything of any significance back to him. we just muddle through the party, biding our time until the goody bags (or stockings) are distributed on christmas morning.  often it turns into one big competition, just like with those party moms and their goody bags, to see who can get kudos from giving the best gift. 

this all became clear to me this week as i was on the advent conspiracy site looking at videos for our advent conspiracy kick off at church.  i ran across some videos about a church that spent less at christmas and used what they didn't spend to put a well into a village in liberia just outside of  monrovia.  this hit close to home.  this is exactly the kind of village, possibly very close to the one my son was born in. i don't know all the circumstances surrounding levi being relinquished by his birth mom to the orphanage, but the one key piece of informtaion i got was this.  children and babies were dying from drinking the disease infested water, the only water source in the village.  there didn't seem to be any hope that this dire situation would change anytime soon, and his mother wanted him to have a chance to live.  thankfully, his village now has a clean water well.

so give it some thought.  what would honor christ more during the season in which we celebrate his birth?  that electric razor for uncle joe, that sweater for your sister (both of which were most likely manufactured in a substandard working environment by people who received less than a fair wage - little more than slaves in many cases) or providing clean water, food or medication for someone in the name of jesus?  there's nothing wrong with giving gifts to those we love during this season, but what celebrates and shares the love of christ with others more?  popping into the nearest mall to purchase something made by a child in a sweatshop or buying a quality fair trade item or a beautiful piece of jewelry that will help unite a child with his forever family through an adoption fundraiser? are our priorities so out of whack that we have to think for more than a half a second about this?  if you need suggestions for your christmas shopping, look over in the sidebar for some great links.  if you have suggestions, by all means, leave me a comment and we'll get it added to the list.

i couldn't decide which video(s) to post, so check them all out...be challenged by what one church was able to do by spending less on meaningless gifts at christmas and giving the gift of lifesaving water in the name of the one whose birth they were celebrating....let's reclaim christmas.

adoption pet peeves

slight rant alert:

i don't typically get too caught up in political correctness, but sometimes i feel the need to say that all four of my children are "real" and "my own"...adoption doesn't make a child any less real (as in "is he your real child?") or any less my own (as in "i'm going to adopt after i have my own children first.").  i try to look past the ignorance of these types of statements and into the heart of the person, but initially, they set me off. if a distinction is needed, it's perfectly cool to refer to my children as biological (or birth) and adopted, but even then, I don't want levi to always be defined as the adopted hickman.  he's every bit as much a hickman and my child as my first three.

one more that is specific to transracial adoptions....the phrase, "god is color blind", although always said with the purist heart and best intentions, is ridiculous.  god created color. to say he is color blind, would imply that there is something offensive there that he would need to turn a blind eye to in order to accept.  he created the smooth, milky white skin, freckled noses and blue eyes of my first three babies and the deep rich chocolate brown skin and eyes of my fourth.  he created all the beautiful tones of my friends' children from ethiopia to china to guatemala to haiti. 

...and just like that, she's done.

Our Advent Conspiracy Challenges

When our pastor approached Kevin and me about helping lead our church through Advent Conspiracy, I was immediately excited.  If you know me at all, the ideas surrounding Advent Conspiracy are what I'm all about...or, at the very least, I'm fully committed to the concepts even though I rarely experience success on a grand scale in any of these areas I'm going to share with you.

So, as I flash back to my growing up years and the lyrical wisdom of Don Henley, let's get down to the heart of the matter.  The crux of Advent Conspiracy is this:  Worship Fully - because Christmas begins and ends with Jesus, Spend Less - and free your resources for things that truly matter, Give More - of your presence: your hands your words, your time, your heart, and Love All - the poor, the forgotten, the marginalized, the sick, in ways that make a difference.

After reading the Advent Conspiracy book, talking to Kevin, brainstorming with the kids, pow wowing with Pastor Dave and Bunny, I realized that there were going to be more challenges to us as a family than I had originally anticipated, especially in the area of spending less.  For starters, Kevin. Kevin LOVES Christmas and gift giving.  He is a superior gift giver.  I have never been able to empathize with friends when they complained about their husband's lame or non-existant Christmas, anniversary or birthday gifts.  So, although I originally labeled this as Kevin's problem, you can see the potential problem in this for me, right?  Thankfully, AC doesn't discourage gift giving, it just encourages less spending and more thoughtful gift giving, with the focus being on making a difference with your purchases.

Here's the deal with us.  We don't buy a lot during the year.  Ours have never been the kids to get a new something or other everytime we go to the store.  With the rare exception, we typically only buy what  we need when we need it.  I am a very practical clothes shopper, always shop sales, often buy second hand and love hand me downs.  Since we homeschool, we never have to do the BIG back to school clothes shopping to try to keep up with the latest trends.  So, Christmas has always ended up being when we buy the majority of the kids' clothes and some of those frivolous items and toys we say "no" to the rest of the year.

I  began perusing the internet and found some incredible opportunities to purchase unique, quality gifts for the adults and older kids in the family (see list in sidebar).  It will feel good knowing that our money will be funding adoptions, providing clean water to the thirsty, feeding the hungry, providing medication to the sick and supporting the fair trade movement. I found myself satisfied that we would be able to do this part of Advent Conspiracy, which is basically, purchase less, but make what you do purchase count for something other than supporting sweat shops and slave labor.

Then I started thinking about my boys.  They might love their new pair of TOMS shoes, and truly, Sam gets it, but the idea of not buying my boys cool toys for Christmas is going to be hard for me.  I certainly don't think they need the latest and greatest gadgets on the market; I've never been that mom, but I sure would like to buy them some new legos or something with wheels to tookie around the neighborhood on.  Then I realized, there is a part of Advent Conspiracy that I was missing.  There's a whole section of the book focused on giving more of yourself to the ones you love and encouraged giving gifts that would require spending time together to make them worth anything at all.  So, without going into great detail (because my kids do read this from time to time), I was thinking that in order to satisfy that innate need as a mother to give toys to my children at Christmas, I would purpose to purchase gifts that would mandate spending more time together.  Because, let's face it, not many of us spend enough purposed quality time with our kids.  Most of what we buy them these days (mostly electronics) promotes alone time or time with friends, not time with us.  The cold hard truth is that we buy them things to get them out of our hair for a while.  I'm talkin' about me here.

Really, I don't want to leave you hanging so I'll try to be vague enough in case my kids stop in.  How about purchasing supplies for a building project that will require all the family to join in, supplies for a family art project to grace your home, or a game or toy that is set aside just for you and a particular child during a certain time each week.   Think about it and please get back to me with your ideas.  I need your ideas.

Maybe this comes across as me trying to find loopholes to continue with my holiday consummerism.  Maybe on some level it is, I'm not going to try to blow smoke.  But at least we're thinking about it, and now, so are you. Seriously though, my kids need a water bottle for the days they attend school. Reusable is more economical.  It's more environmentally friendly and healthier for them to have a stainless steel water bottle, so why not get them a stocking stuffer that gives them what they need, is good for the environment, a more healthy option for them, provides clean drinking water for someone in need and raises awareness everytime someone sees them drinking out of it. Check out the options.  Don't forget to check out the growing list of links in the sidebar.

My goal, leading up to Advent, is to focus on each of the aspects of AC.  I want to share with you what we are attempting as a family, what our church is doing and hopefully get some good tips and links from you.  So, talk to me, people.

Follow You

 "This is the kind of fast day I'm after:

to break the chains of injustice,

get rid of exploitation in the workplace,

free the oppressed,

cancel debts.

What I'm interested in seeing you do is:

sharing your food with the hungry,

inviting the homeless poor into your homes,

putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,

being available to your own families.

Do this and the lights will turn on,

and your lives will turn around at once.

Your righteousness will pave your way.

The God of glory will secure your passage.

Then when you pray, God will answer.

You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'

Isaiah 58:6-9 (The Message)

Reclaiming Christmas

...this is probably the first of many posts on Advent Conspiracy and I'm really hoping that it will prove to be a very interractive topic where we can all learn from one another and encourage each other to rethink and reclaim Christmas.

I posted this video last year around Christmas with every intention of implementing the ideas presented here in my own family.   I suppose I started off ok, but I quickly digressed as I got caught up in the commercial side of Christmas.  Those few meaningful gifts took on a life of their own and suddenly turned into "way too much" in an attempt to keep things even.  I'm sure those of you with more than one child understand how this easily happens.  All that quality time that we were going to spend together turned into hustle and bustle.  Those family times around the advent wreath to help us refocus on the true meaning of Christmas were more "miss" than"hit".   This is important, so I'm not going to let last year's failures deter me from trying again.  I'd love it if you would join me.  Share your ideas with me and my readers.  Let us know how you celebrate Advent and how you keep gift giving in perspective.  Encourage me in the fact that my child will not be emotionally scarred for life if he doesn't get the latest gadget or coolest toys like all of his friends.  



In an effort to make our gift purchases really make a difference this year, I am going to keep a running list in the sidebar of my blog, through the holidays, of some great online shopping opportunities.  Why not purchase a cute tee shirt with a big message that will help meet needs of orphans around the world, or a beautiful piece of handcrafted jewelry that benefits women in Uganda, or a canvas grocery bag that will help stimulate the economy in Malawi instead of  buying that sweater that keeps the sweatshop in Indonesia in business.  So get creative, share your ideas and your links and I'll add them to my list in the sidebar.

Beautiful Scandalous Night

I've gotten to where I don't particularly like automatic music on a blog. It can be annoying, however, I'm making an exception. I absolutely adore this song and wanted to share it with any other "late to the gamers" like myself who might not have heard it yet. Listen...enjoy...be blessed by it...or bee bop down to the playlist at the bottom of the page and turn it off.


update 9/20/09...ok, taking it off auto play for those of you who don't like blog music, but if you haven't heard it yet, and want to, here it is....

Beach Baptism

Sam letting the world (or at least the people at Henderson Beach) know that he is a follower of Jesus. There is no greater joy as a parent.

Although both girls had given their hearts to Jesus at a young age and both had been baptized, they couldn't resist the opportunity to boldly proclaim their growing faith in the beautiful Gulf of Mexico water.


Not only did Kevin have the privilege of baptizing his children, he was honored to help with sweet Allan as well.



So glad there were some awesome people around to keep an eye on Levi since I was a little preoccupied with the other kids. Hadn't planned on getting wet, but it was so worth it to be gathered right around all eighteen that were baptized that day.


The grill meister




Sweet Sarah: my budding photographer on the other side of the lense.

My boys